Looking into divinity in love

Is there any religion where love is concerned? I had never thought of this question until recently when we – three women – had a gal chat. We have many things in common. We had boyfriends, had broken up with them and married. But more importantly, we were born Buddhists and assume we still are.
Yet, I discovered we shared another trait: We had so little to believe in, except the beliefs to which we had given shape in our search for solace.
Love and relations seem easier if we explain them using religious concepts. If we were born Christian or Muslim, we could say that tragic or unrequited love was God’s will, and seek comfort in God, praise God and eventually give God all our love.
A close male friend told me he prayed to God for a chance to marry the love of his life, but ended up eventually tying the knot with another woman. I expect his thinking went more or less like this: It’s God’s will. Or that had God sent him the bride.
It’s easier if we humans can relate our love life to God, isn’t it?
But Buddhists are taught about the circle of life, which is the fall-out of good and bad karma. If we experience an unhappy marriage, we are taught to assume that we probably have some bad karma on our account sheet, either in this life or in a past one.
My friends, however, have never tried to relate love and relations with any facet of Buddhism, even though there are some relevant precepts. Are we sinners? I don’t know.
My friend, who separated from her husband after five years of marriage, met a fellow who flirted and acted as if he was all for her. Later, he told her that he didn’t mean to be anything more than a close friend. When he revealed his true self, she shrugged and told herself: “Why care for such a jerk?” And then she erased him from her list of friends.
Never did I hear my friend blaming it on her bad karma. During her time of frustration, she worked with underprivileged people and found happiness and peace through it. “Why waste my time while I can feel happy with those smiles,” she explained.
Those underprivileged people were the path to a peaceful mind for her. Their smiles were like a reward for her being good as far as my friend’s very own religion was concerned.
The other friend of mine is still married, but is in love with another man. No, she doesn’t want a divorce. She just wants to free her mind and find out what the crush will lead to. She has been a good Buddhist as long as I have known her, but her new religion is to follow her heart. Nothing else matters. She now worships her new love.
After listening to them, I examined myself. There are times when I too feel low. Despite the temptation to do crazy things like I used to when I was young, I always hold back. How can I do something silly when I have the greatest love with me?
I once told my friends, “I used to think of some crazy and stupid thing to do but my daughter holds me back.”
Doesn’t that make her as great as God in my life? My love for her rescues me from time to time. I just can’t do anything that harms me because it’ll only make my little God miserable.
Maybe God is omnipresent, and maybe being able to spot him depends on how you look at things. When sorrow and suffering knocks at your door, you realise that you’re tied to a religion.
As for me, God is great and I love my little God.
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this writing is inspired by the three persons i love - my two best friends and my duaghter. I was thinking about writing it one night in my bed. It has been published in an English newspaper in 2005. I still like the piece not because of my writing but it is a meaningful one. My friends and my little one are those who make my life a life. They are still doing a pretty good jobs.

"Free day": once in a blue moon

It was a rare Saturday that I didn’t have to follow my daughter to her music school. This Saturday reminded me of same old Saturday as I used to have.
At the first thought, it was like...wow.. a golden chance to enjoy a very brief "free" life. But wait a minute…what shall I do? I thought about it and decided to do something to kill the whole day. Well, the night time was sure to taken care of thanks to live football broadcast.
Finally, I found a way to kill time, deciding to go into the city and spent the whole day in a hair salon with my best girl friend who also agreed to have her hair done by my hair dresser for the first time.
I told her that an advantage of having the kid is that one needs not think about how to spend your holidays. “You just go with the flow. Really…," I told her. I just realised that during the few years my Saturday has been really the same: I wake up and get ready for taking my daughter to her music school located in a suburb mall. We have lunch (of course, following her choice of foods), and then go home. Then I head home and finish my Saturday with live football broadcast.
Thanks goodness my best friend didn't tell me to go "get a life". That will be pretty sad to hear because this (the whole repeated Saturday) is really my "life", at least for now.
To look at the world on a brighter side, having a kid is great. You always have something to do on holidays and you don't even have to think about the plan much.
Darker side? Well, I need a few hours to finish it.

The art of suffering

I've read about this Mexican artist Frida Kahlo and planned to watch the movie Frida starring Salma Hayek (2002). The artist's real life was so dramatic that I didn't expect any film studio to do an equivalent version of a "reel life". And I guess I am right. Yet at least the film, with its stunning visions and acting, could shorten time for one enthusiast to look into someone's life - a recommended way for all lazybones.

Love many lines from the films. There are truthful statements of life, pains, marriages, and relations. One must watch to see if I am exaggerating here.

At the end of the film, I have two questions;

1) If suffering creates better artworks? Gee....I don't know much about art but I've got to find out and see some artists whose works are driven by happiness.

2) So what is more painful between physical and emotional?

The movie may suggest it as Frida says: "I had two big accidents in my life Diego, the trolley and you... You are by far the worse." But both pains from her husband and physical conditions contribute to her excellent works.

As for us, non-artists, what is more suffering between a bad company or an aling health?

I don't know but I guess Frida had been suffering throughout her life and that was shy she wrote: "I hope the exit is joyful and I hope never to return"- so sad, isn't it?

A lesson learnt from riding a bus

I don't recall when was the last time I was on a bus. But today I decided that I would ride a bus on the way back from a car service centre. The bus stop was empty and its shelter was nice and shady enough. All seats were empty. Everything was perfect except that I couldn't sit down just because all the cutouts and adverts blocked all the views and I wouldn't know if a bus arrived. So I ended up standing in the sun and paid all attentions to any bus that would come.

But I did learn a great deal from my decision.

1. Any bus in Bangkok is still the same. If you don't wave, a bus won't stop for you except when someone wants to get down.

2. The bus shelter, despite its modern look, is still useless.

3. The bus fare has kept rising and the minimum air-conditioned bus fare is now Bt12 (about 0.35 US dollar). Last time I took was Bt6.

4. Riding a bus means you are stress free as you don't have to look out for die-hard motorcycle riders that comes from all around in mosquito-flying like directions.

At the fare I paid, I would say every baht is worth spending. Perhaps I should try riding the bus more often.